The Washington Toast

by Wendy Dimpleman Geraldine Garza is proudly pregnant, despite not having a womb or any of the plumbing usually necessary to spawn a child. He...

Planet Earth may reach a catastrophic tipping point soon, but it has nothing to do with climate change, according to Hungarian professor of astrophysics...

BELLINGHAM, WA: An award-wining chef has been fired from his job at a 4-star restaurant and dismissed from hosting a popular local TV cooking...

Boston Dynamics announced today that its experimental robotic police force in Ft. Wayne, Indiana has been suspended due to “operational failures.” The test program deployed...

A white male resident of Little Rock, Arkansas has sparked a storm of Twitter condemnation after proposing that racial minorities should not convey themselves...

WILMINGTON, DE: Joe Biden finally made an appearance from his long seclusion last night, but not one his campaign is celebrating. Police responding to...

WASHINGTON, D.C.: Police have taken George and Kellyanne Conway into protective custody after responding to another domestic disturbance call at the D.C. power couple’s...

by Harlin Dongbetter It was another sweltering, Venus-like day in humid Austin, portending another Long Hot Summer, I thought, as hundreds of George Floyd marchers...

R. Gordon Dalrymple Here in the palatial editorial penthouse offices of the Toast, ennui and consternation have reigned — fatigue with coronavirus and the infoglut...

DARTMOUTH: A new study by the University of Massachusetts has determined that President Trump scores far worse on intelligence and literacy than most presidents,...

At a folk music festival in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park last weekend, Deirdre Carpenter was manning a Bernie Sanders campaign-sponsored voter registration table with her...

American gun retailers, hard hit in recent years by the absence of a Democratic president threatening to curtail Second Amendment rights, were hoping presidential...

WASHINGTON: Virus czar Mike Pence at a press conference today: “Let’s get one thing straight: the novel coronavirus is, essentially, a socialist pathogen designed...

NEW YORK: Following his poor delegate harvest on Super Tuesday, Michael Bloomberg will begin mailing out $200 checks next week to every registered Democratic...