Sunday, September 27, 2020
American defense officials are choking on crow as Iranian leaders brag that a USAF “smart” drone has defected to Iran of its own volition, after launching a retaliatory strike on Mike Pompeo yesterday. After a secret mission in Iraq to...
DAYTON, OH: A prominent local businessman’s funeral was all but canceled by a disturbing phone message during his service on Sunday. Gerald Hornfetter, owner of several car washes and a tax preparation franchise in the Dayton area, was killed...
LAREDO, TX: Nancy Pelosi boldy deployed on the front lines of the immigration non-crisis this morning, personally manning a “Spark of Divinity” taco stand at the Mexican border in Laredo, Texas. Julían Castro and Beto O’Rourke worked the smoky...
PARIS: A French submarine repairing a sea-bed communications cable linking Oman and Pakistan stumbled upon a grisly find last week — the decayed head of Osama bin Laden. Egyptian crewmen aboard noted a ragged fringe of beard on the jawbone,...
KATHMANDU: The annual death toll on Mt. Everest took a freakish twist yesterday after a brawl broke out in the long queue before the Hillary Step bottleneck, triggering a cascade of climbers down the steep slope. Shingaloo Sherpa, a Nepalese...
LOS ANGELES: Recently resigned EPA chief Scott Pruitt is still marooned in the LaBrea tar pits after three days perched on the roof of his car in record broiling temperatures. Pruitt was in L.A. for an Arctic oil drillers convention....
Bryan Ferguson was traveling on the I-35 highway near Ardmore, Oklahoma when he witnessed what could have been a prize-winning video — a UFO captured by a mammoth tornado — had his head not obscured most of the critical...
The music industry has been rocked by the revelation that 92% of hip-hop songs in the last five years have used the exact same lyrics — or what has passed for lyrics. The discovery was made by Byron Pflugerblatt, a...
by Wendy Dimpleman Geraldine Garza is proudly pregnant, despite not having a womb or any of the plumbing usually necessary to spawn a child. He — or “zie” as he prefers to be called — confesses to having traditional male...
TRENTON, NJ: Chris Christie was swallowed whole by a giant python over the weekend, but managed to self-rescue for poetic comeuppance. The former New Jersey governor was sunbathing in the backyard of his Mendham home when the 17-ft. long snake,...

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