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U.S. slaps sanctions on entire world
WASHINGTON: Frustrated with the tedious, piecemeal approach to enforcing American will abroad, the House and Senate have approved a sweeping bill imposing sanctions against...
JFK “Magic Bullet” missing from National Archives
WASHINGTON: A conspiracy theorist researching the JFK assassination was astounded to learn that the National Archives has lost the infamous “Magic Bullet” that wounded...
F-35 vs. 737: Who will augur in first?
Following a public spat between their CEOs, Boeing and Lockheed-Martin will face off in a marathon endurance contest billed as the American Air Derby...
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LATEST ARTICLES
Jupiter-Saturn conjunction: Behold the woeful future!
by R. Gordon Dalrymple
Monday, December 14, marked an alignment of auguries unprecedented in human history (I think): as the Electoral College voted to decide...
Fourth monolith appears in U.S. Capitol building
Ratcheting up the mystery of strange monoliths appearing in Utah, Romania and California recently, a fourth monolith was discovered standing in the nation’s Capitol...
My diagnosis: Bipolitical Disorder with a pharmaceutical deficiency
by Wendy Dimpleman
After returning from a five-day solo road/hiking trip in the lovely, wireless-less canyonlands of Utah last week, my relatives conspired to stage...
Man awakening from 20-yr. coma relapses after viewing news video
Ft. Lauderdale CPA Harold Danforth survived a near-fatal car crash on November 24, 2000 before lapsing into a vegetative coma for the next 20...
White Athletes Matter protests rock NFL, NBA
It started when Richard Haalgerd, a third-string point guard for the Milwaukee Bucks, kneeled and raised a clenched fist during the National Anthem before...
Gwenyth Paltrow launches WOOP for White transracials
The Oscar-winning actress and beauty/wellness maven will expand her GOOP line with WOOP for white transracials — Caucasians transitioning to African-American for now, but...
The new gender religion
by Wendy Dimpleman
Geraldine Garza is proudly pregnant, despite not having a womb or any of the plumbing usually necessary to spawn a child. He...
Hours of video soon to equal age of Universe: Is the...
Planet Earth may reach a catastrophic tipping point soon, but it has nothing to do with climate change, according to Hungarian professor of astrophysics...
The Scarlet Letter: Chef fired over “outrageously racist” soup recipe
BELLINGHAM, WA: An award-wining chef has been fired from his job at a 4-star restaurant and dismissed from hosting a popular local TV cooking...
Dirty Robocop: Boston Dynamics suspends AtlasBlue program
Boston Dynamics announced today that its experimental robotic police force in Ft. Wayne, Indiana has been suspended due to “operational failures.”
The test program deployed...
White male says minorities should only ride beasts of burden
A white male resident of Little Rock, Arkansas has sparked a storm of Twitter condemnation after proposing that racial minorities should not convey themselves...
Joe Biden found wandering naked near home
WILMINGTON, DE: Joe Biden finally made an appearance from his long seclusion last night, but not one his campaign is celebrating. Police responding to...
Antifa interview: Disband the Blue!
by Harlin Dongbetter
It was another sweltering, Venus-like day in humid Austin, portending another Long Hot Summer, I thought, as hundreds of George Floyd marchers...
Op-ed: The Deep State fangs of Remdesivir
R. Gordon Dalrymple
Here in the palatial editorial penthouse offices of the Toast, ennui and consternation have reigned — fatigue with coronavirus and the infoglut...
ANTSOCIA: Radical Capitalist militants take to the streets
At a folk music festival in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park last weekend, Deirdre Carpenter was manning a Bernie Sanders campaign-sponsored voter registration table with her...